The Inuyasha Cast Goes To Anger Management Class!
by Regaime Seishi
Summary: time to fix all them problems the characters of Inuyasha have...with force if necessary...evil grins
1. Session 1

The Inuyasha Cast Goes To

Anger Management Class!

Regaime- hope everyone likes this. I just thought it'd be funny, so here it is.

Disclaimer- throughout the course of this class, all characters belonging to Rumiko Takehashi will temporarily be owned by Regaime.

Regaime- please don't hurt me lawyers! I'm improving their minds…or at least, most of them and those that can actually be improved.

**Anger Management Class sign-up:**

Naraku

Inuyasha

Sesshomaru and Jaken

Kouga

Kagura and Kanna

Miroku and Sango

Kikyo

Kagome

Shippo

Tsubaki (Kohaku)

**Class is now officially in session:**

Me- ok, we're here today because I mysteriously gained the power to make all of you attend Anger Management Class. So you're not allowed to leave until all your problems between each other are resolved and everyone is best friends!

Inuyasha- why do we gotta do that? Might as well just let us rot here…

Kouga- (scoffs) Yah! I'm never gonna be even distant enemies with _that_ mutt!

Inuyasha- you wanna come here and say that to my face fleabag!

Kouga- you're on!

Kagome- uh, guys…this is exactly the reason we're in this mess…

Me- that's right! We're here to discuss your _feelings_. Why don't we start with you two egomaniacs since you're so eager to be friends! Then afterwards you can kiss and make up!

Audience- that's just wrong…

Inuyasha- the only way I'm getting even _close_ to that creep is when I'm ripping his head off!

Kouga- I'm ready any time dog boy if you're up to it!

(Both are now growling _loudly_ at each other)

Me- ok, first we need to know where all this anger and hate comes from, then we can try and work it out.

Kagome- I think _I_ know the reason…

Shippo- yah, ain't it obvious?

Inuyasha- shutup Shippo! (Bops him on the head)

Shippo- oohhh! Kagome!

Kagome- Inuyasha SIT!

Inuyasha- (is forced to ground) oww…

Miroku- this is getting nowhere…

Me- ok, Kouga. You like Kagome and—

Kouga- **hem** uh, no. I _love_ Kagome. She's _mine_.

Me- WHATEVER! Anyway…you _'love'_ Kagome and so does Inuyasha. So we need to come to some agreement here. Any ideas Inuyasha?

Inuyasha- I ain't participating in this—all _I_ want is rabies-man dead. And sorry to disappoint you, but Kagome isn't _yours_.

Kouga- who else's could she be? Cuz she's definitely not _yours_.

Inuyasha- I didn't say that! (Growling) I've a better chance than you anyway.

K- (growling) oh yah? And what will you do once Kagome is mine?

Inuyasha- (still growling) I'll kill you before that happens.

Me- (sighs and holds up fly-whacker)

Inuyasha- (sweatdrop) uh…ok, no need for that! Uh…I guess we could _share_…

Kagome- SITT!

Inuyasha- oww…

Kagome- I AM NOT GONNA LET TWO IMMATURE IDIOTS FIGHT OVER ME! AND I AM _NOT_ SOME PAWN BETWEEN YOU EITHER! KOUGA!

Kouga- (gulps) yes Kagome?

Kagome- I've told you before, I like you as a friend, but I don't _love_ you. NOW _GET_ OVER IT!

Kouga- ok…(flinches and shrinks into a dark corner twiddling his thumbs)

Kagome- and Inuyasha!

Inuyasha- (who had been silently laughing at Kouga, stops abruptly and snaps to attention) yes Kagome?

Kagome- WILL YOU PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND! YOU SAY YOU LOVE KIKYO AND THEN YOU GO AND FUCKING HIT ON ME! CAN YOU COME TO SOME FUCKING DECISION _PLEASE_!

Inuyasha- (face is blown away and he's twitching)

Me- ok! I think we have our next topic! Kikyo, (**cough bitch cough**) what do you think about all this?

Kikyo- (to Inuyasha) Fuck you. I want you dead.

Me- OK! _NOW_ we're getting somewhere!

Inuyasha- but, Kikyo—I thought…(puppy eyes)

Kikyo- I HATE YOU! GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD! I—AM—DEAD!

Me in background- (inconspicuously kills Kikyo) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIIIIEEEEE BITCH! DIIIIIIIIEEEE IN PAAAAIIIIIIN! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Hehe, no one can notice cuz I wrote 'inconspiciously'.

Miroku- (to Inuyasha) I think you'd be better off sticking with Kagome.

Kagome- (VERY pissed)

Inuyasha- I'm not so sure…

Miroku- whatever…(sneaks his hand behind Sango and starts rubbing her butt)

Sango- (slaps him) PERV!

Me- Kikyo had to leave for some reason, so why don't you two go next. Sango, what angers you about Miroku?

Sango- well, let's see—you mean besides the fact he's always _groping other women_!

Miroku- I blame it all on my cursed hand—_I'm_ innocent.

Shippo- you're not fooling anyone…

Sango- ADMIT IT MIROKU!

Me- ok Miroku, open up your _mind_ towards Sango and tell her the _truth._

Miroku- (dramatically) As an _honorable_ monk, I would be _willing_ to do such a thing. It is in my _blood_ and _belief_ to reveal my _heart_ to such a _beautiful_ woman, and I will _gladly_ fulfill my _duty_—

Inuyasha- JUST SPIT—IT—OUT!

Miroku- I'm getting there. (Anger cross. Resolves himself and kneels in front of Sango, grasping her hand and kissing it, causing her to blush slightly) Oh Lady Sango, please understand the only reason I—_'show affection'_—towards other women is because I know it makes you jealous, and it is the only way I can receive your attention.

Sango- you really mean that?

Miroku- (once again dramatically) With _all_ my _heart_ and _soul_ that is _eternally_ bound to your _undying_— (sees Inuyasha with an anger cross and his foot tapping impatiently out of the corner of his eye) —er, I do.

Inuyasha- oh, and I'm sure it has _nothing _to do with the fact you're perverted and _like_ to violate women's privacy…

Kagome- you shouldn't talk Inuyasha! I've caught you peeping at me before!

Inuyasha- I never did that! (Blushes intensely)

Kagome- sure you have! And for god's sake, stop ruining their moment! (Gestures towards Miroku and Sango)

Inuyasha- what moment?

Kagome- SITT! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Inuyasha- oww…XX

Me- Sango, do you have anything to say?

Sango- well…Miroku?

Miroku- yes?

Sango- um…I'm sorry for slapping you so much…I think it's really affecting your brain!

Miroku- gee…thanks…(sweatdrop)

Sango- but I only do it because I can't think of anything else to do…and I really can't admit…

Miroku- what?

Me- ooh! This is gonna be good!

Sango- I kind of enjoy the…attention…(blushes deeply)

Miroku- wow…really?

Sango- (nods and keeps blushing)

Miroku- (smiles lecherously and snakes his hand behind Sango)

Sango- (knocks him senseless with her boomerang)

Miroku- too good to be true…XX

Sango- (laughs and kisses him)

Miroku- (kisses her back, thinking 'it is too good!' while rubbing her behind)

Sango- (thinking) 'he just never quits' (Slaps him)

Miroku- (smiles sheepishly)

Me- ok Shippo, you've been very quiet. Anything you want to say?

Shippo- well…I don't like it when Inuyasha hits me and stuff…

Inuyasha- No crap. Why do you think I do it in the first place?

Kagome- Inuyasha he's just a little kid!

Inuyasha- so?

Shippo- you could at least _try_ and be a little nicer! I mean, hey, a half demon like you should be _happy_ to have a friend like me who's _full demon_.

Inuyasha- shutup ya little runt! (Anger cross. Bops him on the head)

Shippo- OOooww! He did it again!

Kagome- (flames behind head in an ominous aura) INUYASHA!

Inuyasha- what? I was just kidding! Heh, heh…(sweatdrop)

Kagome- SIT!

Inuyasha- (goes thud) mmph…GOD DAMNITT WENCH WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!

Kagome- NOT UNTIL YOU COOPERATE AND BE NICE TO SHIPPO! NOW APOLOGIZE OR I'LL SIT YOU SO HARD YOU'LL—

Inuyasha- (crashes when she says sit) WILL YOU AT LEAST GIMME A CHANCE TO SPEAK!

Kagome- wooops…sorry… '

Inuyasha- (grumbles under breath) fine…Shippo, I'msorryforhittingyouiwon'tdoitagain.

Kagome- (hovering ominously above Inuyasha)

Inuyasha- ok, ok! And I wanna be your friend…(grumbles) at least until I get this stupid necklace off…

Shippo- Thanks Inuyasha! (jumps on top of him and hugs him)

Inuyasha- (still grumbling)

Me- ok people in the audience! Four problems down and a lot more to go! See you soon for more—on the next session of Inuyasha Cast goes to Anger Management Class!—Inuyasha gets pissed at Sesshomaru, everyone gets pissed at Naraku, and much MUCH more!

PLEASE REPLY! And apologies to those who like Naraku


	2. Session 2

Day 2: Class is officially in session again 

Me- ok, I've been thinking…

Everyone- (thinking 'wow I'm surprised!')

Me- Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, I know you have a lot of problems. Is there any way you can work this out?

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru- No.

Jaken- my master does not speak with petty half-breeds such as Inuyasha.

Inuyasha- why you little—FUCKING IMP!

Me- Jaken, you seem to serve Fluffy loyally.

Sesshomaru- my name is Sesshomaru.

Me- whatever. So, is there anything you want to say to Fluffy?

Sesshomaru- (yells in background) SESSHOMARU—!

Jaken- well…it would be nice to get some recognition for my services. That little Brat gets more attention than I do!

Sesshomaru- (steps on his face) leave Rin out of this.

Jaken- (from under Sesshomaru's shoe) yes milord.

Jaken's staff- (laughs at him in background)

Jaken- (gives staff middle finger)

Staff- (burns him to a crisp)

Jaken- damnit…

Me- ok, now that he's out of the way…(to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru) you two are brothers. While it's normal to fight every now and then, hating each other and trying to kill one another is a bit more than sibling rivalry. So, Fluffy, why do you hate Inuyasha?

Inuyasha- Ain't it obvious?

Jaken- (who's now a pile of ashes) Show my master some respect wench and call him Lord Sesshomaru!

Sesshomaru- (major anger cross)

Me- Ok, _'Sesshomaru'_. Why do you hate Inuyasha? Don't be shy; we're here to find your inner selves.

Inuyasha- (in a mocking voice) we're here to find your inner selves cuz you don't have a life and—I'm gonna rip your fucking head off if you don't stop butting into our business!

Kagome- Sit. (Inuyasha grumbles in background)

Sesshomaru- the reason I hate Inuyasha _is _none of your business, as is nothing we do to each other. But since we're not free to leave until our problems are solved, I will comply. My hatred of Inuyasha is because he's a half-breed and can wield the Tetsusaiga when I can't. Even though I would use the Tetsusaiga for a much better cause than he. Also, I hate his love for these worthless humans.

Kagome- hey!

Inuyasha- ha! You're just jealous because I'm better than you and you know it! (Points finger at Sesshomaru)

Sesshomaru- (anger cross) AND HE CUT—MY FUCKING—ARM OFF! (Jabs finger at arm. Anger cross throbs and threatens to explode)

Inuyasha- YOU DESERVED IT FOR DISRUPTING FATHER'S TOMB AND TRYING TO KILL KAGOME! NOT TO MENTION PULLING THAT CRAP WITH MY MOTHER!

Sesshomaru- IF YOU TOLD ME WHERE IT WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE I WOULDN'T HAVE NEEDED HER!

Inuyasha- I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE IT WAS UNTIL YOU RIPPED THE FUCKING THING OUT OF MY EYE! WHICH HURT BY THE WAY!

Kagome- Inuyasha calm down!

Inuyasha- stay outta this Kagome! I'm gonna finish this ONCE AND FOR ALL! I'LL KILL YOU!

Fluffy- Good idea, however it is YOU who will die today! AND STOP CALLING ME FLUFFY!

Me- (laughing uncontrollably)

Shippo- (sighs) sometimes I just wanna put them in a room and have them battle it out…

Sango- (grumbles) I know what you mean…

Me- hmm…you know, that's kinda a good idea, but I don't want either of them dying…

Kagome- yah, it could get pretty rough…

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru- (still yelling and threatening each other. Lightning bolt connects their foreheads zapping fiercely)

Me- OK YOU TWO! SHUTT—UPP! We all know why you hate each other, so now we gotta figure out how to fix that…any ideas?

Inuyasha- I could just kill him…

Me- THAT'S NOT AN OPTION!

Inuyasha- well, jeez, you don't have to have a hissy fit…

Me- I'LL HAVE A HISSY FIT IF I WANT TO!

Inuyasha- looks like you could use some anger management…

Me- KAGOME SIT HIM FOR ME WOULD YA!

Kagome- SIT!

Inuyasha- oww…(gets up and mumbles under breath) not my fault she has problems…

Me- ok, I'm ok…now. Sesshomaru, I can see why you're frustrated about getting stuck with a sword that doesn't cause harm. But I think I know why your father gave it to you. Can you guess?

Sesshomaru- as you should know, if I knew why he gave it to me, I wouldn't be frustrated about it. So just spit it out human, I haven't all day.

Me- jeez, you guys need proper educate too, how about just being polite once in a while?

Sesshomaru- (gives me disinterested look)

Me- fine. I think your father left you Tenseiga to protect your brother.

Sesshomaru- (scoffs) I doubt that you are correct.

Inuyasha- yah, that's ridiculous—I don't need protection!

Everyone else and Audience- …no comment…

Me- Think about it! Your father made the Tetsusaiga to protect your mother, and knew his first son couldn't wield it! He also must have feared for your life Inuyasha, so he needed a way to protect you! How else than to make a sword that could heal?

Inuyasha- Except for the fact that I don't _need_ protection. I have Tetsusaiga.

Me- true, but when you were younger you didn't, and you didn't have it until just recently. Then you had to find out how to use it, you almost got killed in the process, but eventually, yah, you probably don't need protection now.

Inuyasha- exactly.

Audience and everyone- (rolls eyes. Sweatdrops) idiot…

Me- but it still ensures your safety. He probably didn't expect you to learn so quickly.

Inuyasha- I'm his kid, why wouldn't he expect it?

Me- you're missing the point…

Sesshomaru- I have a point to make. Did he actually believe I was going to protect a half-breed?

Kagome- well that's what family USUALLY does!

Sesshomaru- between humans, maybe, but demons are different wench, you need to understand that.

Kagome- it's no different!

Inuyasha- Kagome let him be. He obviously isn't going to admit he's embarrassed!

Sesshomaru- (anger cross throbs) I don't get embarrassed.

Me- so, you're going to forsake your father's wishes?

Sesshomaru- father was a fool to love a human!

Inuyasha- yet you care about Rin don't you?

Sesshomaru- Rin has nothing to do with this, leave her out of it!

Inuyasha- Just admit it! You have the same weakness with humans that father did! You've gone soft!

Me- you know, once you open up, it's that much easier to overcome your differences. And that's why we're here, so you aren't leaving until then. I'm getting hungry myself, and the caffeine's starting to wear off, so I suggest hurrying up.

Sesshomaru- you're right, I do care for Rin and I'm not certain as to why, but that still doesn't mean I'm going to protect you.

Me- but what good is it to kill your only brother and take the Tetsusaiga when you have to keep going through arms just to hold it?

Kagome- right, you're already strong, fast, and not to mention clever. You don't even need the Sacred Jewel because of it, so why would Tetsusaiga make any difference?

Sesshomaru- I believe it's hopeless to argue anymore, since I seem to be fighting a loosing battle quickly.

Inuyasha- That's it! surrender!

Sesshomaru- I must admit you humans are making more sense than I've ever thought of. Very well. My hunts for the Tetsusaiga will end as of now, and I will cease to try and kill Inuyasha.

Me- (looks up into heavens) YES LORD! (somewhere in back ground music is turned on--**HALELUYA HALELUYA!**)

Kagome- good! Now we're getting somewhere!

Me- ok Fluffy, hug and make up!

Sesshomaru- don't push it.

Me- oh come on, show some brotherly love!

Fluffy- as I told you before, my name is Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha- what, you afraid I'll bite? (opens his arms and smirks teasingly)

Me- Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Sesshomaru- (gives Inuyasha and I death glares)

Me- ok, well than I guess it's pointless. We'll have to try again tomorrow. Just let me…(scribbles a reminder in notebook) ok! Let's hear from the people who we've been ignoring…let's see…oh! News to Audience! ('if I have one…') I forgot to erase Tsubaki from the list of attendants because I don't know anything about her and I think she's just pure evil so that doesn't help. SO! She's a anger management class dropout! (laughs uncontrollably)

Tsubaki- (from out of nowhere) HEY!

Me- so she's outta the way, but I have another person to take her spot—Kohaku!

Sango- (sobs)

Me- you must be really pissed at Naraku, huh?

Kohaku- (nods)

Me- well, actually, who isn't? everybody who hates Naraku raise your hands!

(every one raises their hands, along with the whole demon world, regular world, the audience and the universe)

me- (Raising both hands while giving Naraku the middle finger—if that's possible…)

Naraku- (gives all of us death glares)

Me- ok, well I think that's all for today people! We'll pick up tomorrow by going back and making fun of Naraku! Stay tuned cuz this is gonna be great! Next time Naraku releases some JUCY secrets and Inuyasha and Sesshomaru HUG! And I'm thinking of attacking Inuyasha…(giggles) Bye for now, but before you go…EVERYBODY POINT AND LAUGH AT NARAKU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(cough)HAHAHAHAHA(ech) HAHAHAHA(ouch my sides hurt) BYE BYE MY FRIENDS! (goes back to laughing at Naraku)

PLEASE REPLY!


	3. Session 3

**Class is now officially in session for the third time:**

Me- ok, for those of you who haven't taken their Ginkgo yet, we left off making fun of Naraku cuz he has the most problems. I mean, come on, HE GIVES BIRTH TO INCARNATIONS AND HE HAS ABOUT 7 OF THEM! HE KEEPS DEADLY INSECTS AS PETS AND SUCKS UP DEMONS! Not to mention all the other bad things he's done that I won't mention cuz I want the other characters to yell at him. So, Naraku! One question before the chaos starts. WERE YOU DROPPED WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE AS ONIGUMO! Or did the smoke from the fire affect your brain? (Mallet appears outta nowhere. I grab it and knock it against Naraku's head a few times) WHAT'S WRONG UP THERE!

Naraku- do that again and I'll fucking kill you.

Me- Sorry! Can't! This is my imagination so I can't die, and, even if I could and I did, you guys would never be able to get out of my head. But I must say it would be fun to see how pissed everyone gets at you after that…

Naraku- when we get out of here I will hunt you down and THEN I will kill you.

Me- yah, yah, so you say. Inuyasha will save me though.

Inuyasha- Oi, and what makes you think I'll do that!

Me- if you ever want to get out of here, then I suggest you do! (evil glare)

Inuyasha- Ah! Ok, I will! (mumbles) this place is worst than hell…

Me- ok, I know the audience is itching to see you brothers make up, so we're not proceeding until you hug.

Inuyasha- whatever, we'll just stand here then.

Sesshomaru- you should reconsider wench if you think I'll succumb to your wishes.

Me- god you guys are so stubborn…(gets out a dog whistle that conveniently popped outta nowhere) ALRIGHT MOVE IT NOW! (blows whistle as loud as possible, although only Inuyasha and Sesshomaru can hear it because they're dogs)

Inuyasha- AH THE NOISE! MAKE IT STOP! (holds wounded ears)

Sesshomaru- DAMNIT HUMAN! GIVE ME THAT! (tries to take whistle but can't do that and hold his ears at the same time)

Me- I SUGGEST YOU START MOVEING NOW! UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO DEAF!

Inuyasha- WAH? I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!

Sesshomaru- YOU IDIOT!

Everyone- (who is staring and scratching their heads) SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP YELLING! YOU'RE THE ONLY NOISE HERE!

Me- actually that's not true, you guys just can't hear the awful annoying ringing sound this thing makes, and neither can I, so I'm gonna blow it until they hug, until I can hear it, (which will be never) or until I pass out which will stick you guys in the dark for a while until I come to.

Inuyasha- (practically crying) MOMMY MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Sesshomaru- YOU'RE GONNA CRY TO YOUR MOMMY NOW HALFBREED? SHE'S DEAD!

Inuyasha- (whining) KAGOME!

Kagome- JUST HURRY UP AND HUG HIM! YOU TOO RIGHTY!

Sesshomaru- IT'S NOT MY FAULT I WAS LEFT HANDED!

Inuyasha- (begging/whining/holding his ears) PLEASE! MAKE IT DISSAPEAR! I'LL DO ANYTHING!

Me- hmmm…….ANYTHING!

Inuyasha- (nods vigorously)

Me- ok, you need to hug Sesshomaru and let me pet your ears.

Inuyasha- OH HELL NOT THE EARS!

Me- alrighty then (blows whistle even uh…louder…to them of course…)

Inuyasha- OK, OK! I'LL DO IT! GAH! (turns to Sesshomaru) JUST GET THE FUCK OVER HERE AND GET THIS DONE!

Sesshomaru- NOT ON YOUR DEATH BED HALFBREED!

Inuyasha- DAMNIT YOU THINK I _WANT_ TO DO THIS!

Sesshomaru- OF COURSE, YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED A BROTHERLY FIGURE!

Inuyasha- ARE YOU SHITTING ME! I'D RATHER DIE THAN GET FRIENDLY WITH YOU!

Me- oh, come on guys, it builds character!

Sesshomaru- WENCH WHEN THIS IS DONE I'M HELPING NARAKU KILL YOU!

Inuyasha- ME TOO!

Me- (sniff) I'm so unloved! (snuffle) even my Inu-baby hates me (crying) I just wanna make it all better! (waah, and stuff)

Inuyasha- oh, come on, don't cry! We'll do it, right?

Sesshomaru- no.

Inuyasha- sure you will! For making her cry!

Sesshomaru- but she's such a wuss!

Me- (bawling) GAAAAH! YOU'RE EVIL!

Inuyasha- oh come on! you can't tell me you don't want to shut up that racket! (holding ears)

Sesshomaru- ARGH! ALRIGHT! JUST GET IT OVER WITH! I ACTUALY HAVE A LIFE!

Inuyasha- yah right…(inches closer to Sesshomaru)

Sesshomaru- (inches closer)

Me- JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Inuyasha & Sesshy- AHHHHHH! (jumps into each other's arms—audience go aww!)

Inuyasha- I can't believe I'm doing this…

Sesshomaru- shaddup fucker.

Inuyasha- righty.

Sesshomaru- I fucking hate you.

Inuyasha- yah, don't we know it.

Sesshomaru- I'm gonna kill her for this.

Inuyasha- it's kinda nice though.

Sesshomaru- WAAAT! (pushes Inuyasha away)

Inuyasha- god, can't I make it look convincing!

Audience- (clapping) WHOOO HOO! ENCORE!

Sesshomaru & Inuyasha- (growls menacingly at audience)

Audience- (cowers in fear)

Me- you two are hopeless…OH INUYASHA!

Inuyasha- oh fuck. The ear thing…god save me…

God- (sticks out tongue)

Audience- (laughing)

Inuyasha- (groans and looks at me fearfully)

Me- MINE! BUNZAI!

Inuyasha- AHHH! RUN AWAY SHE'S CRAZY!

Me- DON'T YOU KNOW IT! (latches onto Inuyasha's back and grabs his ears) ok, now giddy up!

Inuyasha- torture…gah…help…(groans)

Miroku- I told you your bad Karma would come back to haunt you…(shakes head)

Inuyasha- when we get back I'm becoming a monk…

Me- AHH! NO! (jumps off him) I'll leave you alone, just PA-LEASE say you're joking!

Inuyasha- ok, ok, I was!

Miroku- you sure? The benefits are great…(smiles lecherously)

Inuyasha- perv…

Sango- I'm warning the villagers from now on…

Miroku- I never get the credit I deserve…

Inuyasha- you're going to hell, I just know it…

Miroku- HEY!

Me- ok, lets get focused here people…uh…right, focus…shit…the coffee wore off…I'll be right back, and don't even THINK about killing each other! (glares at everyone)

Inuyasha- can I maim them?

Me- NO!

PLEASE REPLY!


	4. Insert Coffee Break

**Insert coffee break**

Me- ok I'm back and been thinking!

Naraku- never a good sign…

Me- (stress mark) Naraku, you're going to name one good thing you like.

Naraku- who says I'm GOING to?

Me- I says so!

Naraku- ok, I like ruining other peoples' lives.

Me- WHAT PART OF 'GOOD' DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!

Naraku- (trembles and goes into chibi-mode) OK! I love…PUPPIES! (bursts into tears)

Inuyasha- (anger cross)

Me- what'd ya know, he's a sissy…it's ok Naraku! We're here to help, right guys?

Everyone- no.

Naraku- (bawls) SO UNLOVED!

Inuyasha- gee, wonder why…

Me- Naraku, why did you turn bad if you need to be loved?

Naraku- (still in chibi-mode) I had a…(sniff)…abusive childhood!

Me- like father, like son…

Naraku- I'M SO-ORRY! (still bawling) I NEVER HAD ANY FRIENDS! I DON'T WANNA BE EVIL! WAAAAHH!

Me- I'm your friend! (thinking- 'as if')

Naraku- Really?

Me- no.

Naraku- (bursts into tears again) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Me- look, I'm sure we can find someone!

Naraku- really?

Me- no.

Naraku- (crying again, blah, blah)

Me- jeez you're pathetic. I liked you better evil…

Naraku- (opens mouth)

Me- no. (cuts him off)

Naraku- (pouts) I'm so abused…

Everyone- Shuuuuuure…

Me- if you don't like being evil, then why do you do it?

Naraku- the producers pay me, and it's the only thing I'm good at…

Me- you're really messed up in the head…

Naraku- I used to have another dream…

Me- oh?

Naraku- I wanted to be a soccer mom, but my daddy wouldn't let me…

Me- gee, wonder why…ok people, I guess we'll call it today…er…whatever… Next time we'll see what other sissy things Naraku tells us, and hopefully these guys will be able to leave my very messed imagination.

Inuyasha- GET US OUTTA HERE!

Me- SHUT UP! Now then, do I have to get the Evil Dust Bunnies From Hell out? I'm sure they'll enjoy some air after being banished under my bed with my history book…

Inuyasha- nope, I'm good. Just kidding, heh…

Me- ok! Stay tuned fer the grand finally! (does little jig) YEHAW!

Inuyasha- you sound like a redneck…

Me- DON'T MAKE FUN OF CONTRY FOLK! (takes out pitchfork) OFF WITH YALL!

Disclaimer: you shouldn't piss her off, she owns you as long as you're in her head…

Inuyasha- oh—fuck.

PLEASE REPLY!


	5. Session 4 which is better

**Class is now in session for the 4th time:**

Me- (sigh) we haven't even started and yet people are arguing…you can listen in if you want. Right now Inuyasha and Kouga are fighting over which is better: ears or tails.

Inuyasha- MY EARS ARE BETTER!

Kouga- MY TAIL IS BETTER!

Inuyasha- MY EARS!

Kouga- MY TAIL!

Inuyasha- EARS!

Kouga- TAIL!

Inuyasha- EARS GOD DAMNIT!

Kouga- Kagome, what do you think?

Kagome- I don't even LIKE you!

Kouga- Yah, but say you did, which would be better, my handsome tail or dog-boy's waxy ears?

Inuyasha- (yells in background) MY EARS ARE NOT WAXY FLEABAG!

Kagome- But I don't LIKE you!

Kouga- just pretend you do!

Kagome- I don't even like you in my DREAMS!

Kouga- hmph…some imagination YOU have…

Inuyasha- that settles it. My ears ARE better!

Kouga- NO WAY! SHE'S UNDECIDED!

Kagome- (in background) I DON'T LIKE YOU!

Inuyasha- THAT MEANS SHE LIKES MY EARS AND DOESN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS!

Kouga- that's hardly the case—chicks dig the tail. (swishes tail)

Inuyasha- uh, no. chicks DIG the ears!

Kouga- TAIL!

Inuyasha- EARS!

Kouga- TAIL! Kagome, what do you think?

Kagome- I'M NOT A FREAKING JUDGE HERE!

Kouga- yah, but it's so sexy…(drools and swishes tail)

Audience- (staring)

Part of Audience who likes Kouga- (drooling) YAH! SEXY!

Part of Audience who doesn't like Kouga- (finds dark corner to throw up)

Authoress- 'Audience? What audience?'

Kouga- Sooo sexy…don't ya think?

Kagome- WHY WOULD I EVEN LIKE YOUR TAIL! IT COVERS YOUR— (cough) eh— ('I wasn't staring') um… ('shit I was staring') heh, ('that's not cheating is it?')

Kouga- AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ASS!

---This part is bleeped out due to inappropriate content including Kouga mooning the audience---

Part of Audience who likes Kouga- GOD DAMMIT THIS SUCKS! SHOW US!

Part of Audience who doesn't like Kouga—OR his ass- (sweatdrop) whew…close encounter…

Me- (finds audience's dark corner) BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Evil Dust Bunnies From Hell- (drops history book on my head) STOP THINKING DIRTY THOUGHTS!

Me- heh, sorry, it's funny…I want reviewers…(shrugs sheepishly)

Inuyasha- SEE! MY EARS KICK YOUR ASS!

Kouga- MY TAIL DOES!

Inuyasha- YOUR TAIL IS TOO BUSY COVERING YOUR ASS!

Kouga- IT'S STILL BETTER!

Fluffy- (sigh) you're both wrong. The girls all go for my unexplainable fuzzy boa. (thinking- 'good thing they don't know it's my lint collection')

Inuyasha- WAAT! You're kidding right? That's just your highly demented lint collection!

Sesshomaru- Shh! They'll hear you!

Part of Audience who likes Fluffy- (goes to dark corner to cry)

Everyone else- EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!

Me- why do you even have that thing?

Fluffy- it keeps my shoulder warm.

Me- Oo

Inuyasha- I SAY MY EARS ARE BETTER!

Kouga- TAIL!

Sesshy- BOA!—er—LINT COLLECTION!

Me- that's just gross…

Inuyasha- (grumbles) you said it…

Miroku- you're all wrong. The girls all love me.

Sango- as if…

Me- ok I'm getting bored so I say Inuyasha's ears are the best!

Kouga, Sesshy, and Miroku- (sulk away to dark corner)

PLEASE REPLY!


	6. Session 4 Bashing Naraku

Me- (sigh) ok, we gotta get something done. This is the finally so…oh! I almost forgot! We're not done with yelling at Naraku! So, we're all gonna make him feel bad even though he's a sissy.

Naraku- HEY! None of those things I said last time were true!

Everyone- Shuuuurrrr….

Naraku- heh, I was just saying that stuff to make it seem like I was cooperating.

Me- yah right. Ok, let's make a big circle around Naraku and see if we can get him to go into chibi mode again. That means you three will have to come out of the dark corner.

Kouga, Miroku and Fluffy- (sulk out of dark corner)

Everyone- (surrounds Naraku)

Naraku- (sweatdrop) oh shit.

Stress Level- 100 percent

Me- (has evil look in eyes) heh, heh, this is gonna be fun! MWUAHAHAHA…ok, let's start with…hmm…how 'bout you Miroku?

Miroku- (grins and holds up staff)

Naraku- WENCH I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!

Me- (in singsong voice) I told you! I can't die within my head! I can't say the same for you though…

Miroku- (holds staff above head) now I shall get revenge for all the misfortune you've bestowed upon me!

Naraku- (sweatdrop) ('crap not the staff')

Me- 3…2…1…

Miroku- HOW DARE YOU CURSE MY FAMILY! YOU ROTTON DEMON YOU KILLED MY GRANDFATHER! (think of Miroku when he stepped on Inuyasha's back and told him to get some rest)(hitting Naraku with staff) YOU—NO—GOOD—SONOFA—BITCH! BUDDA'S—WRATH—CONSUME YOU! I'LL SUCK YOU UP WITH THE CURSE YOU SET UPON ME!

Me- woh, woh, woh, hang on there! We're not done with him yet!

Naraku- fuck.

Me- next in line! (singing) Sango!

Sango- I will enjoy this. (holds up boomerang)

Me- just don't kill him…yet…

Naraku- I thought this was supposed to be anger management!

Me- yah, ain't it doing wonders!

Everyone-

Naraku- OO

Sango- (starts swinging Hiraikotsu at Naraku) YOU SICK BASTARD! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME! YOU POSSESED KOHAKU! YOU GAVE HIM ALL THOSE BAD MEMORIES AND THEN YOU HAVE THE GAUL TO USE THEM IN YOUR MIND CONTROL! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE, AND STILL DOING! IF IT WASN'T FOR HER, YOU'D BE WORSE THAN DEAD! (gasping for air( I think— (gasp) I'm done— (gasp)

Me- wow…the wrath of a really pissed woman…Oo'

Miroku- don't you know it. she scares me too…

Inuyasha- she doesn't scare me! (clinging to Kagome)

Kagome- hey, hands off! (enjoying situation)

Me- ok Kohaku, why don't you go next?

Kohaku- I think she took care of everything for me…

Sango- (smiles sheepishly)

Me- It can't hurt to repeat it a few times, just to make sure he REALLY gets the point.

Kohaku- yah, I get ya.

Naraku- (cringes) double fuck.

Kohaku- (using Naraku as a punching bag) I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU SCREWED UP MY LIFE AND MADE ME FORGET MY SISTER! YOU MADE ME KILL FATHER AND THE OTHERS! YOU FUCKED UP MY FIRST BATTLE AS A DEMON SLAYER!

Sango- wow…hey! Where'd you learn to talk like that!

Kohaku- they said 'em a few times. (points at Inuyasha, Kouga and Sesshy)

Sango- grr…(glares at them) watch your mouths from now on!

Me- great job Kohaku!

Kohaku- wait, just one last thing…HOW DARE YOU HAVE A NAME THAT RYMES WITH MINE—YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! (gives Naraku good punch)

Naraku- when is this going to end? (groans) it's not my fault the producers gave you a name similar to mine!

Me- never! And, um…yes it is! So there!

Naraku- damnit! (holds head in hands still groaning)

Me- hmn…makes you kinda feel bad for him….not… ok! Who's next! Naraku misses his pain!

Naraku- no I don't you psycho!

Me- yah you do, stop being in denial. Kagura, you haven't said a word since we started! Get over here and start beating up Naraku cuz we all know you want to.

Kagura- (mopes over with Kanna following with her mirror)

Me- ok, what do you think of Naraku?

Kagura- I can't say. I'm his bitch. He holds my heart. I am a loyal servant.

Kanna- (whispers) as am I… (stares straight through me)

Me- (shivers) Kanna! I didn't ask you! (grumbles) Mainly because you scare the shit outta me…how can you wear all white AND keep the same expression ALL the time! (shivers ensue) please leave.

Kanna- I know where you live…

Me- cut it out ya freak! Leave damn you!

Kanna- I'll be watching you…

Me- gah! (holds fingers out in cross-position) get away from me! (runs behind Inuyasha)

Inuyasha- why the hell're you hiding behind ME?

Me- cuz she's scary…now kill her. THAT'S an order!

Inuyasha- (shivers) ya don't have to ask ME twice. Sango, run her through with your boomerang. (gets weird look from Sango that says, 'what're you, scared?') I-it'll be more painful that way…

Sango- well…I—I don't want to be cruel or anything…um, Miroku! Why don't you suck her up so it'll be over nice and quick and we can get back to killing Naraku!

Miroku- I would, but…she might mess up my wind tunnel…I—don't really want to take any chances…why don't you do it, Kouga?

Kouga- (fidgets) …I can't kill her in front of Kagome, it'd be…immoral…how 'bout you Kagome? Hit her with a sacred arrow.

Kagome- (plugs ears) lalalalalaimnotlisteninglalalalalacantmakemelistenlalala …(continues to blabber)

Me- god you guys are all wimps!

Everyone- (looks at me as if saying, 'and you're one to talk')

Me- hey, I control you all! I shouldn't HAVE to do the dirty work! Fluffy! Fetch!

Sesshomaru- (grumbles) m'name's not Fluffy… (steps forward and kills Kanna with Tokijin anyway)

Kanna- (dead)

Me- yay!

Naraku- damn you! My minion! You killed her!

Everyone- …no duh…?

Me- you know, if you wanted to be inconspicuous so we by chance MIGHT forget about you for a minute, you shouldn't have done that.

Naraku- damn…(thinking- 'I dug my own grave and now I'm burying myself too…')

Me- ok, so Kagura. Chuck them wind blades at him with the dance of blades. THAT'S an order too. Don't worry about punishment, he can't kill you or touch you as long as you're in my head.

Kagura- (smiles like the Shikon No Tama was just given to her on a silver platter and holds up fan) I—HATE YOU! I AM THE WIND! THE WIND DAMNIT! HOW DARE YOU IMPRISON THE WIND! I'LL CUT YOU TO PIECES! YOU MAKE ME SICK! MORE SO THAT I WAS MADE FROM YOU, AND IN RETURN, I SHALL UNMAKE YOU! (lowers fan and looks at the bloody groaning lump on the floor that is Naraku) how was that?

Me- pretty FUCKING AWESOME! Ok, Kouga, you next.

Kouga- (shifts weight to back leg and raises other ready to kick) Heh, heh. You want the jewel shards in my legs so much, I'm gonna give you a taste of them.

Naraku- (blubbers something about pain but it's incoherent since his jaw is broken and he's still a bloody lump)

Kouga- it kinda sucks he won't be able to scream in pain…

Me- don't worry. Being a demon, it's already healed. Go ahead and test it out!

Kouga- (toothy grin) sure thing. (screaming at Naraku while kicking him) YOU KILLED MY PACK! THEN YOU TRIED TO FRAME THAT PATHETIC MUTT CUZ YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A COWERD TO FACE YOUR ENEMIES! YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO DEMONS EVERYWHERE! (pants) and finally, YOU TRIED TO KILL KAGOME!

Naraku- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHH! THE PAIN HURTS!

Audience- …again, no duh…?

Kouga- hey you were right!

Me- of course!

Everyone-

Naraku- xx

Me- ok, good job Kouga, but let's give the others a turn…lessee…

Inuyasha- (raising hand while jumping up and down) mememe! Pick me! Lemme go next!

Me- hmn…Fluffy.

Sesshomaru- (anger cross) I give up…

Inuyasha- bu—WHAT! WHY'D YOU GO AND PICK HIM!

Me- because.

Inuyasha- (whining) but I wanted to go next…(puppy eyes. Pouts)

Me- well to ba—oh no. not the eyes. pleeease don't gimme that look.

Inuyasha- can I go?

Me- no! you'll get your turn!

Inuyasha- meanie…

Fluffy- stop being so immature.

Inuyasha- shadup righty.

Fluffy- (anger cross)

Me- come on you guys! Don't start fighting again! We're almost done here!

Inuyasha- fine. I'll be good…

Me- good dog! (gives him ramen)

Inuyasha- yummy! (slurps ramen thinking, 'I wonder where this came from…wait…I don't wanna know…don't wanna know…')

Fluffy- (raises Tokijin and smirks) this'll be amusing. I've been waiting a long time for this Naraku.

Naraku- (meeps)

Me- ooh. 00' Fluffy smiling…watch out world, he has a death wish.

Sesshomaru- (still smiling) actually I have two.

Me- heh, heh…(runs and snuggles into Inuyasha for protection)

Kagome- hey! Hands off!

Me- (growls) I'll be gone soon. Lemme have my fun.

Kagome- just as long as you don't DO—er—just watch it. (thinking, 'where do these thoughts COME from?')

Fluffy- (still holding Tokijin above head and grits teeth, anger cross throbbing) can I start now?

Me- sure! '

Fluffy- (brings Tokijin down and hacks on Naraku with it) YOU—ARE NOT—THE BOSS—OF ME! (keeps hacking in between words) SO STOP ACTING LIKE ONE! AND IF YOU EVER TRY AND SUCK ME UP AGAIN I'LL—oh wait, you're gonna die anyway…er…COUNT THIS AS REVENGE FOR COVERING ME WITH YOUR DISGUSTING GOUPY FLESH! AND FOR KIDNAPPING RIN!

Me- cool…Naraku looks like Jell-O… (scurries out of Inuyasha's arms and goes over to Naraku) hehe, poke. (pokes Naraku) pokepokepokepoke (jabbing finger into Naraku cuz it feels weird, then realizes he's the guy who tried to kill Inuyasha. Stops poking) BASTARD! Ok Inuyasha, you're last cuz you're the one who gets to kill him! Just one request I'm sure we all agree on…make it slow, and make it painful. (grins maniacally)

Inuyasha- FINALLY! Now I get it. you saved the best for last!

Me- yup.

Inuyasha- Ok, slow and painful right? Sure thing. (cuts wrist so it bleeds slightly and grips it with his claws so they're covered in blood) It's kinda boring he won't be fighting back, but I'll still have fun! BLADES OF BLOOD! (crimson blades fly at the Jell-O heap that is Naraku)

Jell-O heap Naraku- xx

Inuyasha- DAMNIT! He's dead ALREADY! MOTHER FU—

Me- (sigh) he's not dead, just passed out. Make room for the smelling salt! (prances up to Jell-O heap) Wait…where's his nose? Er…gross. Is THAT his nose? Whatever… (holds smelling salt to Jell-O heap's supposed nose)

Jell-O- (coughs and sputters)

Inuyasha- YES! HE'S NOT DEAD!

Jell-O with Naraku's voice- DAMNIT! I'M NOT DEAD!

Inuyasha- ok, time to finish what I started. YOU TRICKED KIKYO AND I! YOU SQREWED UP OUR PERFECTLY PLANED LIFE! YOU TRIED TO KILL FLUFFY WHEN THAT'S _MY_ JOB! And…(takes out Tetsusaiga) YOU ALMOST KILLED THE ONLY PERSON I LOVE, KAGOME! WIND SCAR!

Jell-O with Naraku's voice- YES! SEE YOU IN HEELL—AAAHHHRRRGGHHH

Inuyasha- alright!

Naraku- (dead)

Everyone in the whole demon world, regular world, the audience and the universe- MWAHAHA! NARAKU'S DEAD! (cheers and dances in circles doing a weird do-si-do) YEHAW!

PLEASE REPLY!


	7. Report Cards

Me- ok, this class is over, just as soon as we get rid of Naraku's dead Jell-O-ness and I give out the report cards.

Inuyasha- wait—we're getting graded!

Me- uh…duh…? What'd you expect? You have to graduate to leave.

Inuyasha- (suddenly feels sick) ugh…damn…it…all…why must the world torture me like this?

Me- stop complaining! You haven't even gotten it yet!

Miroku- If I may ask, won't it be bias if you grade us? You like some of us more than others…if I might remind you…

Me- absolutely right! Which is why the Evil Dust Bunnies From Hell are the judges! Otherwise Inuyasha would totally get an A+ times infinity!

Inuyasha- wait…damn!

Me- so Miroku, how about you suck up Naraku as a reward for your insightfulness?

Miroku- I'd love to, but…my wind tunnel is gone…

Me- oh well, now that I think about it, why don't we just give him a grave so we can dance and piss and spit and shit on it?

Everyone in the whole demon world, regular world, the audience and the universe- sounds like a good plan!

Evil Dust Bunnies From Hell- (hand out report cards)

Sango- cool, A. "very cooperative"

Miroku- …B… "moments of profanity"…

Kouga- …B-…"moments of idiocy"…

Shippo- A-, "cooperative yet whiny"…

Kohaku- B, "cooperative yet swore a lot"…

Kagome- B, "cooperative but lost temper more than once"…

Jaken- D…"vulgar and gay"…HEY!

Sesshomaru- …C…"resistant to learning"…(anger cross)

Kagura- C…"only talked twice but otherwise cooperative"…I didn't know Naraku couldn't kill me…I was scared…I was his bitch…I don't like whips…(fidgets and twitches nervously)

Inuyasha- …F…WHAT! "vulgar, uncooperative, hostile and resistant to learning"! WTF!

Me- oof…looks like you'll have to sign up for another class. Don't worry, there's one coming up that the band of seven is signed up for. See you then I guess!

Inuyasha- (melts into puddle on floor)

Me- oh! And just for those who want to know, Tsubaki got an X, Naraku got a Y, and Kikyo got a Z. so long for now!

Inuyasha- (still in puddle form) I should have listened to mommy and become a monk…

THE END!

Disclaimer- all characters in this fic belongs to Rumiko Takehashi once more except for the Evil Dust Bunnies From Hell and Inuyasha since he failed.

Regaime- the lawyers can't hurt me; it's not my fault Inuyasha failed.

PLEASE REPLY! Let me know if any of you want a sequel with the band of seven and Inuyasha of course. Also let me know if there's any other character no matter how small that you'd like me to put in. I'll try and comply.


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